question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
