Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i believe in u and ur pee
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize