dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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