Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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