it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
