K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
