You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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