Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
