Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
