i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
