Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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