Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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