And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
