I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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