I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
