I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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