operation harelip BJ is a go
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
