how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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