some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
