you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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