I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
