Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
