you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize