she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
