her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
