I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
