he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
