u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
