problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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