I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
