i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
