How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's always time for handjobs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
