i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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