i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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