Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i've created a new STD.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
