I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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