Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
