i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
