apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
