I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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