I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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