Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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