the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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