Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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