i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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