For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
