I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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