he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
