It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
