All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
