Sry I called you an 8
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
