I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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