I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
did you just send me my own nude
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize