Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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