i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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