I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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