My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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