So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
