What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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