we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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