i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
