Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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