could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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