This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
