If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
