My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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