Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
