There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
