No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize